Taking the bullet when it isn’t yours to take?

bulletI understand it is healthy for a man to take a look in the mirror and see how he can improve for the future based on previous experience. But sometimes this goes to far into letting another responsible adult off the hook. Take the following quote as an example:

“For the record my ex-wife may be crazy but in retrospect it was me who lost my alpha edge in the   marriage and pushed her into being a bitch towards me.”

Can you really make someone be a bitch? No, men need to stop letting women’s bad behavior off the hook and subscribing to some false concept of “manning up”. You may have contributed to the situation but ask yourself a few questions:

Didn’t both of you promise til death do you part?

Was she the one to break that vow?

Is losing your alpha edge mentioned anywhere in the vow ? In sickness and in health, til death do you part (unless he loses his alpha edge!)

Why accept blame that is probably at most 20% your fault? Put the blame where it belongs and don’t let her off the hook. You didn’t make her a bitch, genetics and a poor disposition did that.

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One Response to Taking the bullet when it isn’t yours to take?

  1. Tin Man says:

    Actually, I agree. If both people are adults, and we (as adults) are responsible for our own happiness, along with the decisions we make, AND marriage is a partnership – then at most, it was 50% of the divorce.

    I bought into the crap my (x)wife told me. And I give her credit, she was much more adept at the guilt game than I – and I spent the past 3+ years living in the guilt of our failed marriage – her unhappiness and that our kids would grow up in a “divorced” family. I carried my share of the load of the “fault” – but thanks to the Manosphere, red pill and the knowledge I’ve gained over the past year. I take responsibility and know I made mistakes – but her leaving because she was unhappy – nope, not taking that one on.

    So agree whole heartedly with what you’re saying.

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