Reflections on a wise father’s advice

I have been reading with interest the comment’s in response to my post 20 Things a Mother should tell her son – A Wise Father’s Rebuttal First thing you may notice is that I do not censor the critical comments because I enjoy seeing opposite perspectives and the open dialogue/debate around ideas and do not take easily take offense. I am not vested in these ideas being right but they are based on pragmatic observation of how life works, the current dynamic between the sexes that exists today and what men need to do not to end up roadkill in that scenario. The comments from men support the basic philosophy because they have observed many of these same dynamics at play and have adjusted accordingly. Pragmatism is doing what works even if you wished it didn’t work that way. I will advise my son that he has a duty to protect his own interests this is not selfishness but a smart approach to dealing with the world he has to live in. A practicing Christian should at most have difficulties with recommendation #2 and it presents quite a dilemma for that traditional position. It basically forces the decision between a life a celibacy, hitting the proverbial lucky lottery by finding a loyal virgin wife, or making adjustments based on the times we live in.

I recognize that women are not going to interpret this advice based on how it will profit a son but instead with a woman’s perspective on how would this affect her if implemented. Some other comments:

There is some truth to this; however I’m sorry you couldn’t think up this stuff on your own. It seems very competitive.

This was my favorite comment. I admit that a lot of the philosophy for the 20 points was a collection of various sources but the compilation was original and a fair rebuttal to the original post.

Women regularly initiate divorce for no other reason other than a lack of happiness?’ Really?
Due to the high cost of divorce in terms of financial loss, abandonment by friends and family, having to do most of the emotional damage control for the children, and being treated like a pariah by the ‘stable citizens of society’, do you really think that most woman would do this on the basis of a “Oh SIGH – I just don’t feel very fulfilled” mentality? How about resentment at it’s limit after years of verbal, mental, or physical abuse/thoughtless behaviour/simple infantile neglect of the relationship and the piece de resistance, having an affair because a man hasn’t got the backbone to face the issues with his wife, open his heart to her, and have the courage to try and save his marriage.

This commenter sounds like they may have more traditional grounds for divorce such as adultery or legitimate physical abuse but the prevalence of no fault divorce filings and real life observation leads me to conclude that whimsical divorce is on the rise and that the well being of the children is rarely considered by the women who initiate frivolous no fault divorce.

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