Extravagant destination bachelorette party’s are a total farce. These extravagant displays of slutitude have become a one up competition with women determined to be men losing whatever feminine charm they may have had left in the process. Isn’t buying something other men ravaged while it was younger, hotter, tighter enough of a losing situation for there soon to be husband? Evidently not, it is important to get in one last romp in Jamaica funded either via future wedding debt or through the unsuspecting moronic husbands of the wives friends who allow their wives to host and attend these type of events. I would wager to guess most bachelorette parties are way wilder than the corresponding bachelor parties and 5X the cost.
Law of bachelorette party relativity = The expense and complexity of the bachelorette party is equal and opposite to marital harmony and the prospects for future success of the marriage.
The sexual marketplace is every bit the rival of the S&P 500 or any other financial exchange that man has created. Buy low, sell high. Look for the diamond in the rough. Maximize your value by understanding that it is a market and being the best you (the product) that you choose to be. Lots of nuances that many people have written a lot of material on.
One strategy I have heard about is a man attempting to minimize his downside by seeking out and marrying a woman who has a significantly lower market value from what he could otherwise obtain. If she has a pleasing personality and cares for him like he is a sultan over the course of his life that may be a useful strategy. But that is not what is happening in a lot of cases I see in the real world.
- The lower value woman becomes gains a ton of weight dropping even lower on the totem poll and widening the market value gap. Suffering no consequences most times by the way because this type of man tends to stick it out to the bitter end.
- The lower value woman grows delusional and has the audacity to believe she can do better. This should be the ultimate slap in the face to a man that could pull a much hotter woman but alas his behavior has often fed and reinforced this beast by clingy behavior and treating her as if she was the prize when sexual market value says the reverse is true.
- I have witnessed this first hand through a friend and it is a sad tale indeed. He was at least 3 pts greater than her but in the end that didn’t matter. This man made delusional Delilah devoured him cheating on him with his own friend in his own house multiple times leaving him a wreck of a man for a time.
He has since recovered and is now married to a woman at least 2 points better looking than his previous wife. Why he married again is a mystery to me but at least he didn’t dumpster dive again. There is no safety by slumming it, so if your gonna get dirty get dirty.
When society still valued marriage alimony may have made sense. When social norms and pressures kept marriages going even if one partner might want to bail. When a failed marriage was shameful to a woman and not the you go gurl badge of courage. If there was a rampant issue with men abandoning their old loyal wives for younger models then I could see the concept making sense. That is simply not the case in 95% of divorces these days. Alimony is the product of a bygone era and needs to be abolished.
Alimony makes no sense when many marriages are ended for frivolous reasons
Alimony makes no sense when women are out earning many men
Alimony makes no sense EXCEPT it is a way to further the agenda of those who wish to control men and ruin them financially even in cases where they did not want a divorce and did nothing wrong.
You might have to pay alimony but no that you are being oppressed and seek to change the paradigm. Don’t marry. And if you can’t heed this advice at least don’t marry women way below you in the financial asset department.
I signed my son up for kenpo karate so he could learn some self defense skills so he’d know how to handle himself and also to get him off the electronic devices. Anything that gets a kid his age off of the digital crack is a good thing in my book. He already knows what the prize looks like and has had his eyes on the black belt from day one. He would have bypassed the white belt and everything in between if it worked that way. He is doing well in his classes and is testing for the next level soon. As long as he continues to benefit from the classes and wants to progress I will keep encouraging him to progress.
He loves to spar with me and I don’t hold much back when he tries to bring the thunder. I let him give a few good licks but I also ensure that he keeps his defenses up and show him what it feels like to be under attack. No fear at all it is quite impressive. Some of the higher belts sometimes try to bully the lower ones or at least verbally insinuate they are superior. The older ones would win in a point type system but I wonder how things would go if they really started something it would be pretty interesting because I am not sure they have the look of eagles. My son has it even if he doesn’t have the belts yet.
One of the kids who also will be taking the next level test, well I wouldn’t make the same bet. When the instructor said who is ready for the next level this kid put his head down and wanted no part of it even though he was ready according to the class. He asked if he had to come. Even the instructor who is paid to be nice had to take pause at passing such a mentally weak student. How tough will life be for this kid unless he finds some self confidence and embraces life like my son does? Why isn’t his dad teaching him to be a warrior? Either way it isn’t that kids fault he has no role model, no one to encourage an let him know that he is good enough. Probably isn’t even the kid’s dad’s fault for all I know. Maybe he lost courthouse roulette and mommy is proving to the world that boys don’t need a father. Either way kids like him lose and get deposited in the ashes of wimps and whiners jar. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it?
Reading two biographies of Frank Sinatra got me interested in the only woman he ever met who he couldn’t conquer. The one who got under his skin like no other because he couldn’t control her like he could other broads. Not Ava Gardner. We have all probably had a similar experience the one girl you couldn’t quite figure out that kept you on your toes more than the others. The beautiful elusive one that could match you drink for drink. You both so in lust and combustible, just an insinuation of attention to another could blow up the night and cause a knock down and drag out fight. Perhaps the wonderlust of make-up sex makes it all worthwhile since all that energy has to dissipate somehow. If you have never experienced that I am not sure you want to unless you have the right temperament to handle it. This is the type of encounter that can leave even a man the caliber of Frank Sinatra in a daze thinking about it years later.
Ava was born and raised in North Carolina and had humble beginnings. She was a drop dead knock out and got recognized from a photo that was taken and hung in New York City while she was there visiting a relative. That is how she got discovered and it was off to Hollywood when she was a teen to start work with MGM. Without that chance encounter she may have stayed in North Carolina and lived a quiet unremarkable life.
After she got to Hollywood she was a minor player in the movies but was catching the eye of big stars on the scene because she had unreal beauty and at first a pleasing demeanor. According to her autobiography she was a virgin when she first married due to her strict Baptist upbringing. Lucky for her there was no Facebook or twitter in the 30s and 40s so I have no way of verifying. She married star Mickey Rooney at 19 but that lasted only a year. She ended it allegedly due to infidelity and neglect. After that she had another short marriage to jazz man Artie Shaw who himself was married a mind boggling eight times. After her 2nd marriage Ava wised up and decided sex outside of marriage might be better for awhile to avoid rivaling Elizabeth Taylor in the divorce count statistics. She would only marry one more time and that was to Frank Sinatra but that too would last only for a short time. Ava became a huge star after her marriage to Shaw and was the hottest thing in Hollywood for many years. She admits she never really loved acting and did it for the money, very pragmatic and I do not blame her one bit. Ava lost the taste for Hollywood and moved to Spain and then to London where she lived out the remainder of her days. She suffered a few strokes and died at the age of 67.
Some deeper reflections on Ava:
- Even though the Ava and Frank pairing gets the most attention it was Artie Shaw who left a bigger imprint on her psyche. Artie was the only man in her life who discarded her she ended all of the other relationships. Artie was also an intellectual who made her feel inferior she did a lot of study trying to please him but never could. The hottest chicks really do love the biggest assholes helps validates one of the Chateau’s commandments.
- Ava got down with Patton himself George C Scott which was a physically abusive relationship. Evidently he was a real woman beater and gave it to her bad several times. She stuck around for it at the time but that dude was lucky he wasn’t alive in our day he’d have been locked up.
- Ava and Frank had some wild times and most notably she was the only chick that could actually get Frank to divorce his first wife. Marilyn Maxwell, Lana Turner and thousands of other hotties tried but only Ava was able to get him to really do it. That is the kind of power a woman this beautiful can have even over a powerful man every other woman wants.
- Howard Hughes tried for years to woo Ava with trips, million dollar jewels and dramatic gestures of undying love. Anyone who calls Hughes a beta is totally missing the point clearly he was a force of nature who just didn’t get it right in this case. Charm and other factors matter more to women like Ava than being an eccentric’s prize.
- The thing I respect most about Ava is she never profited from any of her short marriages and even back in those days she could have made quite a sum from her first two at least. All of her exes stayed friends with her for the rest of her life and my guess is that’s why.
Ava was an insane beauty who loved crazy, lived a full life, and drank like someone from my crew. One fascinating mess that Ava Gardner no wonder she had Sinatra under her thumb.
College graduation season is upon us and a fresh crop of indebted individuals is about to be unleashed on corporate and other parts of America. It doesn’t seem like it has been as long as it has but I am nearly 15 years out now so have some collected wisdom to share with the recent graduates. This wisdom is collected from my own experience and witnessing the approach taken by recent college graduates that I have interacted within a professional environment.
What to do:
- Follow your passions now while you have minimal responsibilities and nothing holding you back
- Choose your mentors wisely and follow their guidance. Who you know and attach your coat tails to matters as much as what you know and do.
- Start paying yourself first and save and invest aggressively as soon as you start working. Utilize the company 401k match for all its worth you won’t be getting a defined benefit pension so take everything you can get.
- Speak up but in a humble way. Get recognized for your contributions by approaching it this way but don’t think you know a lot because you have a degree. So does everyone else and you will have to pay your dues so that is why having a mentor can help you learn the ropes.
- If you have entrepreneurial ambitions go for it now
- Work for free for a little bit (but not too long) if that exposure can land you the job you want.
What not to do:
- Don’t let fear hold you back go ruthlessly after your dreams and do not let anything stand in your way.
- Don’t lock yourself into big fixed costs like new cars or houses. Keep your monthly expenses low so you can keep your options open until you are ready to lay down some roots.
- Don’t focus on the position with the highest starting salary instead focus on the job that will provide you the most experience in the area you want to focus. Nothing can replace the value of learning and achieving the 10,000 hours of experience in your chosen field at a young age. It is the foundation for higher earnings later in life.
- Don’t rush into marriage there is plenty of time especially for you men.
- Don’t start work the day after you graduate. I did that and everyone deserves a few weeks off to live it up before work for the rest of your life begins.
Best wishes college graduates the future is yours if you seize it.
Picked up the book The Voice a Frank Sinatra bio and brought it on vacation with me to the great state of Florida. It was a long but addicting read detailing the early career of Sinatra and all of the capers he got involved with. If any entertainer had more personalty than Frank in the 1900s I am at a loss to think of who that might be. The public both loved and then hated him several times throughout his career but he always did it his way.
His way is the way of the alpha if your thing is banging broads and being the best at what you do. Sinatra had more quality tail than any of his peers and he did it through sheer charm and by being the ring leader that always kept things interesting for his crew. He also had the danger element working in his favor, he had an explosive temperament that could turn to rage on a dime and mob connections although no one truly knows how deep they were.
Some things I learned from reading about Frank:
- No matter how alpha you think you are you’ll meet you match and then some at some point. Sinatra slayed everything in his path until Ava Gardner but then he became under her spell and lost his mojo. The hunter becomes the hunted and everybody hurts sometime.
- Setbacks are temporary. Everyone wrote Sinatra’s career off when he stumbled after rising to the top but he kept hustling and never gave up. His critics thought many names like Haymes, Fisher, Como, Lewis & Martin etc.. would be remembered instead of him but through sheer will power and desire he is the name everyone remembers.
- Sometimes we don’t appreciate what we have if it is too comfortable. Frank’s first wife was always his rock and one of the old school good women but he just couldn’t be satisfied with easy. He took care of his family financially but was pretty much a stranger to them besides that. Not the kind of man I’d want to be even though I can envy his lifestyle on occasion.
- Sinatra spent like there was no tomorrow throughout his life and was often very close to insolvent due to his extravagance. He pulled it off due to extreme talent and hustle but most people that try to emulate this lifestyle will end up under performing not everyone can be Sinatra. Many people in his crew like Sammy Davis Jr. tried to mimic his approach but got themselves in financial trouble.
- To reach the top levels like Frank you have to have a sole focus on self and not worry about what others think. This approach wouldn’t be for me I am much to loyal a person and couldn’t discard people that helped me along the way just because I was ready for the next step in the ladder. Frank navigated this path several times and always burned the bridge and made the move onward and upward.
- No one is completely good or completely bad. It would be easy to vilify or think less of Sinatra after reading this book but for all the bad there are also tales of his legendary generosity and being there when someone needed it. Life is complicated and it is a sign of maturity when you can see the grey.
Sinatra could never be bored and could never sit still. Always had to be moving and staying one step ahead of the coffin. In the end we all only have a limited amount of time on this earth so you decide what is important to you and DO IT YOUR WAY.
Do you appreciate the simple things in life and savor the moment while you are in it? Or are you hurrying through life busy shuffling from one chore to the other without taking a step back and giving yourself time to enjoy life? I indulged in a mini retreat this past weekend and it was paradise. Just doing what I wanted with no forced routine or schedules to meet, living in the moment. The polar opposite experience from the day to day grind of wishing your life away.
Feeling the breeze through my hair with the top down, salty sea mist in the air, tasting it like the prelude to a margarita.
Savoring the sand between my toes.
Marveling at the power and vastness of the ocean. In and out. Calm one minute and powerfully destructive the next.
Imagining the treasures claimed by the sea over the centuries and cooking up plots on how I could get my hands on some of it.
Sad for the people so absorbed with their cell phones too busy to experience paradise beyond advertising to their “friends” that they were there.
When was the last time you did exactly what you wanted to do and put the mundane aside? Even just for a little while.
“I need to stop wishing my life away Monday – Friday from 8am to 5pm. I’ll want it back someday”.
This powerfully deep nugget was part of a friend’s Facebook status update. Anyone who is not passionate about what they are doing often wishes their week away working for the weekend like the old 80’s Loverboy anthem. This mindset takes shape at an early age in school but at least you are working for the weekend + the summer then. Once you have a job it is working for the weekend + a few weeks paid vacation if you are lucky.
We wish too much of our time away anticipating greener pastures sometime far off a day not today. It is easy to live life in this way and not think about it until you are at the end of your days. Don’t wait until your hourglass has a grain of sand left, take control of your life and get passionate about living. That or enjoy your weekend. Carpe diem.