I have already stated my position that for most men marriage is a bad proposition. Some men will take this idea to the extreme and only seek one night stands or extremely short entanglements but I do not necessarily think that is ideal either. A long-term relationship has the potential to offer many of the same benefits as marriage without the unfair financial liabilities that can make marriage a raw deal.
In thinking about experiences I have either directly had or witnessed via friends here are my insights on items that men should consider long term relationship disqualifiers. If the woman you are considering for a long-term relationship has one or more of these issues you should proceed with extreme caution.
MK’s long term relationship disqualifiers
Financial irresponsibility – This is a tremendous red flag if you are considering marriage but it should still be considered a big negative for long term relationship material. A woman who is unable to control her finances likely lacks self control in other areas of her life too. Even if that is not the case her financial immaturity will cost you either $’s or emotional stress you do not need (even just because you have to here about the problem all the time). She will not always clue you into this directly and you can’t exactly 1-800 credit report that ass but unless you have your head in the sand you should see clues.
Warning Signs: Excessive shopping, massive credit card debt, shiny object syndrome, unworn outfits adorning her closet.
Special note: Education related debt should be evaluated differently as it does not have as many negative personality traits associated with it as the things listed above (although if you were considering marriage it is a very real debt).
Past history of abuse – I am sure this will be a very controversial statement since people are not responsible for abuse inflicted on them as children or in most other situations. I agree 100% with that statement but abuse often creates immense damage to an individual and many men that I personally known who tried to make these women’s life better ended up miserable and taken advantage of in the process. Abuse is horrible but you can not undue emotional damage created by others.
Warning Signs: Extreme difficulty with intimacy, unbalanced emotional behavior, lashing out, early confession of incident.
Frequent man bashing – Why any man would want to put up with an entitled princess that loves to verbally abuse and demean men is beyond me. This has never been a problem for me as this is probably the #1 reason I would disqualify a women and it is quite easy to get insight into this after a few conversations. You could try game techniques such as lowering her value and raising yours but with a big yawn I say why bother.
Warning Signs: Constant criticism of men, Women’s Study diplomas, burnt bra relics (assuming her house didn’t just have a fire)
Sexual history – Some of my noble but less spine induced male brethren may object and say what a women has done before she met you is non of your concern. Extreme naive thinking on their part because although people can change they rarely do. This issue is somewhat tricky since your ratio vs. hers should come into play but since I haven’t bothered to figure out the equation yet I have to keep it vague. If she confesses a number and it repulses you it is time to move on (in fact if she mentions it at all it is probably a sign even she thinks its too many) I never ask but it often comes up a lot so I think there could be something to this
Warning Signs: Confession that she’s sucked 36 dicks (yeah for Clerks references), a scoreboard in her bedroom, general sense that she belongs at Rent a Center vs. on your arm.
Friends that are a bad influence – If her friends are people you can’t stand chances are she is not totally being herself around you (or she has bad taste in friends). Either option is a potential worry for long term relationship material. If she confesses (or you sense) her friends do no respect that she’s dating you and they frequently do drunken girls nights out don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Warning Signs: Her friends have a voodoo doll of you and their notch count qualifies them as the female Wilt Chamberlain.
You would rather talk to yourself than her -If you do not enjoy your conversations with her and seek to avoid them why consider a long-term relationship? The ability to have engaging discussions about a wide variety of topics is important to me because I dread talking about boring topics like the weather. If she can’t hold her own she isn’t for the long run.
Warning Signs: You regularly talk about the weather, dread conversations with her or keep them to the bare minimum.
A hideously unattractive mother – Her mother’s looks do not matter at all for short term things but if you are considering a long-term relationship (or gasp marriage) you should pay some attention to how the mom looks. If she is attractive big bonus but if she is hideous don’t ignore the power of genes.
Warning Signs: Extremely overweight mom or one that replicates a cold pool in winter phenomenon with your willy.