It’s a Wonderful Life – The director’s hypergamy cut

ItsawonderfullifeIt’s a Wonderful Life is a tv staple during the Christmas season. Everyone loves the feel good Frank Capra tale of family man George Bailey who gets his girl, saves the town and sticks it to the town scrooge Potter. George ran into some bad luck due to an idiot Uncle and an evil Potter but he was able to recover with the help of his friends and his loving wife who stuck by him even when it looked like they had lost everything. I like a lot of things about modern day life but the family values and marriage scene of the pre 60s I most definitely envy.

How would does the 2000’s director’s cut hypergamy edition change the classic flick? Well George was still the town alpha and snagged the girl and they married but this time when things went rough financially Mary’s call to Sam Wainwright went very different. George never even came up in the conversation instead she mentioned to Sam that she still has burning feelings for him and had come to her senses. Sam still held a bit of a grudge because George stole his girl and he couldn’t resist returning to the scene to triumphantly rescue Mary and become the savior of his new family. George tried to drink himself to death but when that didn’t work he headed to the bridge. No one believes in things like religion anymore these days so there was no angel to save him but no worries he had jumped in the shallow part and only had a big hospital bill to show for his efforts. After paying his extensive child support payments each month working as a checkout clerk in one of the many stores Mr. Potter owns in town, George barely has enough money to catch a decent buzz at Martini’s once a week. He rarely gets to see his kids since Mary and Sam moved across country but he feels good knowing that his support dollars are being put to good use.

Or perhaps it is all just a bad dream and George never really settled down. Perhaps he pumped and dumped Violet, Mary and many other women in town before heading overseas to fulfill his lifelong dreams of seeing the world a lot like this guy. The 2000’s George Bailey could very well be Roosh.

It’s a Wonderful Life! Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

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