Sung in my best cowboy voice, Fathers don’t let your sons grow up to be manginas…
Saw this motherly wisdom going viral on Facebook and couldn’t pass up the chance to reinforce how father’s need to save their sons from well intentioned (maybe?) “motherly wisdom”
1. Play a sport.
It will teach you how to win honorably,
lose gracefully, respect authority,
work with others, manage your time
and stay out of trouble.
And maybe even throw or catch.
This is true son baseball, football, lacrosse, golf (for when your a power broker later) be athletic and reap the spoils that young athletes get and be the aloof jock that ladies love. Hit the weight room hard early and develop a strong body.
2. You will set the tone
for the sexual relationship,
so don’t take something away from her
that you can’t give back.
Son, nice guys finish last in many cases. Women want a man who will lead and are just as interested in sex as you are. Use protection and experiment in a safe way. If she says no back off it is her loss but until then assume the sale. If any out of line fathers give you a problem let me know, I got this.
3. Use careful aim when you pee.
Somebody’s got to clean that up, you know.
Son, pee in the shower its a bigger target and if you miss that we need to get you glasses.
4. Save money when you’re young
because you’re going to need it someday.
Yes, son save money and use it to enjoy life and set yourself up to be independent preferably by owning your own business. Don’t blow this savings trying to impress women your cocky funny demeanor and dominant personality are all you need.
5. Allow me to introduce you
to the dishwasher, oven,
washing machine, iron,
vacuum, mop and broom.
Now please go use them.
That’s why we have your mother son. Actually, you need to learn these things when you get out on your own unless your such a charmer you can get them done for you.
6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.
Lead in all things you do. Being a spiritual leader means finding a woman that believes what you believe and leading that encounter. This leadership does not mean leading her in her religion of choice you make that decision and lead from your wisdom not following her to her church like a puppy.
7. Don’t ever be a bully
and don’t ever start a fight,
but if some idiot clocks you,
please defend yourself.
Wow, I thought mom would tell you to tell the teacher not so bad. Don’t bully and don’t start the aggression but if it happens protect yourself and fight to win. If you are faced with a weapon or a no win situation it is ok to retreat and fight in a time more conducive to you winning. Do not get involved in situations that are not your problem unless family or best friends are involved.
8. Your knowledge and education is something
that nobody can take away from you.
Spend your time mastering important subjects at a young age and continually learn about them. Learn things like math, science, history, finance, and learn many skills. The sooner you find out what you want to do for a living the better. And son not all degrees are equal you do need to be able to get a job after you graduate.
9. Treat women kindly.
Forever is a long time to live alone
and it’s even longer to live with somebody
who hates your guts.
Judge women by their actions not what they say. Do not get overly hung up on any one woman son. Do not think there is a concept such as “the one”. You are the prize act accordingly.
10. Take pride in your appearance.
Dress in a way that optimizes your personal style and makes you feel like the man. Be able to dress up for nice occasions and look like James Bond while doing so.
11. Be strong and tender at the same time.
Both can be important but err on the side of strong dominance think a 4-1 ratio.
12. A woman can do everything that you can do.
This includes her having a successful career
and you changing diapers at 3 A.M.
Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.
Why exactly are you telling my son this he will hear it nearly every day from his school indoctrination. Does he really need to hear it from you too?
13. “Yes ma’am” and “yes sir”
still go a long way.
Respect is important especially towards your parents. Always demand respect from others as well it is a two way street.
14. The reason that they’re called “private parts”
is because they’re “private”.
Please do not scratch them in public.
Thank you mom for getting this stereotype into this list I am worried you are real short of material if this came up at 14 these next 6 are going to be scary.
15. Peer pressure is a scary thing.
Be a good leader and others will follow.
Lead and be your own man.
16. Bringing her flowers for no reason
is always a good idea.
Son, this is usually NOT a good idea. By bringing her flowers you are treating her as the prize. You can do this occasionally (never on demand) but remember SHE is LUCKY to have YOU.
17. It is better to be kind
than to be right.
Why can’t we be both mother dearest? It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
18. A sense of humor
goes a long way
in the healing process.
Develop your sense of humor and use it to charm and make others enjoy your company. Learn to be a good story teller.
19. Please choose your spouse wisely.
My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me
spending time with you and my grandchildren.
The best advice in here up to now. Marriage is a grave risk for men in this age of no fault divorce and a time when women regularly initiate divorces for no reason other than a lack of happiness. Marriage was meant to be a contract but it no longer means that to many people it has become a symbolic ceremony and a very expensive party that makes the bride the star of the show. IF you marry choose wisely indeed.
20. Remember to call your mother
because I might be missing you.
Give mom a call or better yet a visit she does love you even though she can’t raise you alone you need a father.
Bonus Points: If anyone tells you to man up except me ignore it. The term manning up has become a shaming term meant to control you and make you fit someone else’s expectations of what you should be. Live life on your terms, stand by your decisions and be fearless.
Fathers share this info and save our sons.