Leverage guilt & don’t be emotional during a divorce

whitepicketYou have been married six years have two kids and think that your family life is perfect. Your doting wife is still a sexy stay at home mom who is fun and a good mom. Life is good. Unfortunately for you, your wife disagrees and is about to rock your world and blow up the family. She tells you that she doesn’t want to take you to the cleaners because she feels extreme guilt about the divorce and that she wants to work out a 50-50 parenting time arrangement. What do you do?

This is the exact scenario a friend of a friend found himself in recently. Pure divorce manna from heaven vs. the divorce scenario many men face where he faces the prospect of getting taken to the cleaners and being prevented from adequate time with the kids. Did he consider himself the Lou Gehrig of divorcing men and execute the transaction with speed and haste? No. Instead instead of striking while the guilt was hot to work out a fair settlement he got emotional and acted irrationally. After throwing an emotional fit and locking her in a closet he now faces a restraining order and grave prospects for a settlement involving significant alimony. Given the situation he was facing it was not surprising he felt emotional but for God’ sake keep yourself in check man. Because of that emotional outburst and poor decision he faces the full brunt of a former guilty feeling woman transformed into a righteously scorned victim.

Always keep your eyes on the prize your emotions in check and don’t look a gift horse in the mouth (unless its Trojan).

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What I have been up to in the 2nd half of 2014

I’ll take “What’s not writing blog posts for 1000 Alex.” Can’t remember the last time I have put fingers to keyboard and composed something but there is a good reason for that. I have been Ultra focused on career growth trying to accelerate the trajectory to reach my goals in an exciting field that is undergoing explosive growth right now. Developing a 3 year plan, setting the foundation for a power move in the near future real exciting stuff.

I have also been a lot less interested in the dominant topics that the manosphere has been talking about lately. Real tired of reading about “gamer gate”, “false rape charges” and other nonsense that feels like a total distraction. Blogs that have focused on these topics have helped me whittle down my overwhelming RSS reader to a more manageable level and reclaim that time towards productive uses. I plan to reorient my online experience back to the items that I do care about which are self growth, launching a power career, and raising kids to excel in life.

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Recyling – How did they get me to care?

RecyclingEmpty six pack in hand, but not for much longer, I am just about to drop it in the earth saving blue bin right outside my garage. I am far from an Al Gore inspired environmentalist and yet here I am taking the extra steps to help save the world. How did I get to this point?

I was never the type that would be careless with my trash but I just wasn’t all that interested in recycling. I knew it could be helpful to the environment but in the past it was inconvenient for two reasons #1. I had to make a special trip to do it and #2. It would clutter up and be unsightly until critical mass was obtained to make the special trip worthwhile. I resisted changing my behavior to adopt what I knew was a good thing until they made it easy and took away my objections by providing a big blue container and regular every other week recycling that required no special trip. Pretty sneaky but effective way to inflict change on someone that is not all that interested in changing  behaviors. Here is the process in a nutshell

1. Communicate the benefit of the desired change. Let it seep early and often to help bring the objections to change out into the open and to start building consensus that the change is worthwhile.

2. Understand the objections to change

3. Modify and make continuous improvement to the approach and take away objections on why the change isn’t worth adopting. Make it simple for people to adopt the change you want by taking away the objections and making it easy to do something different. (Think about the evolution of recycling from having no recycling > Far away recycling centers > Closer recycling centers > Curbside recycling on a routine basis.

Make change so easy that even those that don’t care go along anyway…

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Gender double standards are getting old

Men and women are fundamentally different but each have the right to pursue what makes them happy in life. I believe this and think most other people probably do too although some wanna be radical non-thinkers may try to challenge the first part.

I could respect the above arrangement if both sexes were held accountable for their actions in a consistent manner but this is fundamentally not the case. It can not ALWAYS be a man’s fault when a woman makes a choice and it does not work out in her favor. It can not ALWAYS be ok for a women but not for a man when the script gets flipped. Here are some common examples of this nonsense that I hear many women embrace when it is in their advantage:

  • Men should put himself in danger for any woman
  • Men should still put himself in danger when the woman helped escalated a situation and make it dangerous
  • Men should never approach women if he isn’t sure she is interested, its harassment!
  • Men should always approach a woman don’t be a coward!
  • Men shouldn’t ask for so much sex that is all he wants
  • Men should always want sex after all she’s desirable. There must be something wrong with him (physical, mental, gay)
  • Men should pay for dates
  • Men shouldn’t expect anything for paying for a date.
  • Men shouldn’t be nice guys that’s creepy!
  • Men shouldn’t be jerks that’s not nice!

The list goes on and on. I understand everything is dependent on the situation and who is doing the gesture but the whole thing is just entirely nuts. This in a nutshell is why I consider myself red pill. It is not because I want to bang lots of chicks or don’t like my old self. It’s not because I am angry. It’s because I see the fundamental nonsense in the unmerited expectations that many women and a lot of society place on a man. I am not MGTOW but I do believe men should have rights and I am focused on self improvement and living life by my terms, other people’s expectations be damned.

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Mate guarding a declining asset

titanicWomen in their upper 30s+ that should be thanking their lucky stars want freedom. This shows you how distorted the current sexual/marriage market is. Assets declining in value want freedom to explore. Is the answer to nip it in the bud or to instead slyly begin planning to optimize your own exit strategy? Start getting in better shape. Splurge and spend your money on a better wardrobe and things you want. Start building your emergency fund which only you can access. Stop sacrificing your life for the good of everyone else martyrdom only makes sense if you think 99 virgins are waiting for you. They  aren’t, just one depreciating woman who should be grateful you stuck around but instead feels she can do better and wants freedom. If you love something (yourself) set it free and never settle a depreciating asset that thinks its market is booming.

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Applying the 3 Walking Dead Questions to Divorcees

NextHow many walkers (zombies) have you killed?

How many people have you killed?

Why?

These are the three questions the group from The Walking Dead ask outsiders to determine if they are worthy to bring into the group. Since frivorcees like walkers from The Walking Dead have been infected with the great virus of the age it is important to ask them three questions to see if they have changed and are worth your time.

What was your n count prior to marriage?

What was the reason you got divorced?

How many post divorce miles have you already acquired?

After all you want a strong woman that is continually growing as a person and figuring out what she wants as time passes. Someone striving to improve herself over time that you can spoil and treat like the princess that she deserves.

Happy April Fool’s Day! The only thing you should do unless you are looking for a casual encounter is Oh your divorced, next…

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Anyone going through a divorce?

SunTzu

Any men out there going through a divorce? If you need some wisdom on how to approach the impending festivities I’d be happy to lend a some counsel. This offer is to help be your Sun Tzu in the process to lend tactical and strategic (not financial support). That is what your parents are for…

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My mistakes are in the past

The Walking DeadMen be very cautious of a woman that uses the line “my mistakes are in my past”. It could be that she is a wise unicorn that truly has absorbed the life lessons from her past and has translated that into real meaningful change. BUT more often than not it means you are dealing with a new age Christian woman who does not want to be accountable for her actions and is using this line as a born again shield against true self improvement. If someone’s mistakes are truly in their past this type of line wouldn’t need to come up very often but instead I have heard this line quite a bit in many different circles. It has NEVER been used when someone was inappropriately judging someone’s past behavior but instead when a woman didn’t like being “judged” for whatever behavior she was being called out for at the time. Major red flags if you are considering any kind of relationship with a woman who ever uses this stupid phrase to justify bad behavior.

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The most overrated trait in modern day America

Spontaneity. It has become the substitute for being short sighted and irresponsible. Let caution to the wind. Buy one more useless thing you don’t need to put yourself in long term financial straits. Or worse yet do something idiotic and dangerous for a short term fix much like a heroin junkies next hit. No thanks I get my excitement from achievement and living by my terms not by making excuses for being short sighted and irresponsible.

It is spontaneous to take a dump in a public restroom without first looking if there is any toilet paper to wipe. How smart is that? How much different is most of what passes for spontaneity in this day and age?

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A disturbing trip to the local library

libraryI took my kids to the local public library today so they could get some books for an upcoming book report. Usually, I relax with a book and let them hunt down the books they are looking for while keeping an eye on where they are going. This time I decided to help them browse and was pretty depressed at all the garbage books just waiting to help indoctrinate our youth with the most popular liberal ideology of the day. Just  a quick glance showed me crappy offerings on:

  • Global warming included the Inconvenient Truth aka that hypocrite Big Al who helps pollute the world at will with his private jet flights.
  • Numerous books on Islam the religion of peace
  • A book indoctrinating youth to the evils of capitalism
  • More Obama worship than even a middle of the road can stomach

After seeing that I was wondering what kind of parent would encourage their children to become a mindless leftist drone and found this funny little question on the Internet from a parent seeking to indoctrinate educate their future sheep on left wing causes:

Do you know any good left wing propoganda for toddlers?

Please help me identify some lefty / liberal children’s books appropriate for a 3 year old (and up as I have noticed she tends to get older every day).

I have a 3 year old daughter, we read a lot of books together. Her mom and I are committed to progressive political action and would like to introduce some cool, fun, lefty books to the collection. We have a handful, but I’d like to expand. I am thinking about books that discuss race, class, struggle, civil rights, gender issues, environmentalism, etc. We are well to the left of the American mainstream, but we’ll take liberalish stuff too.

Can’t wait to see if their daughter grows up to be an empowered carousel rider when shes all grownz up!

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