First Lady first in hypergamy? Go figure.

Caught an interesting article covering a new book that claimed Michelle Obama considered divorcing Barrack Obama after his apparently disastrous Congress defeat in which she urged him not to run. Here are some of the details.

This was a calamitous turn of events, and during the dark days that followed his defeat, he turned to Michelle for comfort. But she was in no mood to offer him sympathy. After all, he had refused to listen to her warnings about taking on the formidable Bobby Rush. He had put his family in a precarious financial position. And he had dashed Michelle’s hopes of creating a stable and secure future. As a result, their marriage was on the rocks, and Obama confided to friends that he and Michelle were talking about divorce.

I believe this story has legs because this is the very definition of an I told you so moment that also smells like hypergamic urges. After all she thought she his career was probably finished and was ready to cut bait for a more successful suitor. If only she pulled the trigger on the divorce perhaps the nation would have been spared this presidency. Men take heed even the eventual most powerful man in the world is subject to the universal law of hypergamy.

Expecting sympathy when your down? Don’t.

Expecting her on your side win or lose midaswell flip a coin.

Maybe Mr. Obama consulted Athol Kay and gamed his wife back into control. Oh wait I doubt it from all appearances it appears she still pulls the strings like Geppetto.

 

Posted in Deep Thoughts | Tagged | 2 Comments

The Kentucky Derby is the greatest 2 minutes in sports

The Kentucky Derby is my favorite sporting event. It has the tradition, the pageantry, and the glitz. Its a great excuse to party and hopefully make some money if you do things right.

I start the festivities by taking off from work Friday so I can go to the track for the Oaks and talk horses with some friends. It has become one of those cherished rituals that I look forward to every year. Something I look forward to and plan out from the beginning of the year. This year I was suffering from a hang over from celebrating my role as a Hooter’s bikini contest judge a little too hard the night before (it was worth it). Had to have a few early drinks to take the edge off a bit and I never really found my betting groove on Friday dancing around a few juicy exactas. Shame too because there were some decent scores to be had. I wasn’t on the Oaks winner and ended up down a bit after Oaks day but there was always the Derby to look forward to.

I spent a good bit of time handicapping Friday night and had my favorite exacta of Gemologist/Creative Cause ready to go. From my analysis I thought Gemologist or Bodemeister had the biggest chance of being a super horse but I thought Bode would get caught up in a nasty speed duel with the sprinter and Hanson so avoided him. Singled in on a few other closers like I’ll have another, Saber Cat and Dullahan. Day went pretty well and I was up a bit prior to the big race thanks to a nice win and exacta bet on Shackelford. Once the big race was here I felt primed to make a nice score but it was not to be as Gemologist was no where to be found and I’ll Have Another ran down a super charged up Bodemeister who looked a clear winner at one point. I hope all you fellow drinkers had some money on this horse it was so obvious if only I was a name player. If he runs in The Preakness Bodemeister will go off as the favorite and win mark my words he is every bit the freak Curlin was at this point and maybe more. And if all that is not enough to make you love horse racing check out Chantal doing her thing.

Pickup line at the bar tonight  – Forget the Kentucky Derby this guys the greatest 2 minutes in sports.

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The value in providing an experience

When the Internet first came out e-everything was sky rocketing in value and industry experts boldly proclaimed the end of physical shopping as we knew it. Who would want to go out for something when they can get it online and have it sent to them? Like a modern digital Nietzsche they declared that the Mall was dead.

What they failed to realize was that people enjoy the experience of going to the mall. Online shopping did not satisfy the social and sensory needs to make the mall experience obsolete. Online shopping has been wildly successful especially for commodity type goods like books and electronics and for shoppers competing on price alone but experience still matters. The online stores that provide a better experience vs. their online rivals will have an edge but how can they compete vs. high end physical world service?This principle extends from the business world to your personal relationships too.

Focus on providing an experience in your relationships. Provide an enjoyable experience for your family and friends, co-workers, romantic interests, and society in general. Don’t just go through the motions in these relationships but invest in them and make them pleasurable for others and you will end up enjoying them more too.  If you get good at doing this you will find people will be drawn to you and feel like they are having more fun, adventure, excitement while in your presence (depending on what emotion you elicit based on being present and your personality type). If executed correctly for long enough you would begin to be associated with these pleasurable emotions and people will find themselves drawn to you because you regularly bring about pleasurable responses and make things enjoyable.

Easier said than done right? Game techniques offer interesting insight into how to pull some of this off that extends to other relationships too:

  • Spending too much time with someone will probably dull the effect
  • Getting too comfortable will dull the effect (unless the effect is based on comfort)
  • Failing to maintain your frame or desired effect is the equivalent of failing a shit test and losing credibility
  • Creating tension in the process is very powerful once someone seeks you out because you regularly make them happy, excited etc… On the extreme ends it can also make them crazy and put you in harms way dangerous like an addict off their drug and feening for a hit.

High Level Framework for providing an experience vs. just being there:

Understand yourself

1. Understand what type of emotion/frame you are trying to create

2. Understand the typical emotion/frame you naturally represent

The greater the difference between 1 and 2 the more difficult it will be for you to elicit the desired response in your target. This just means you have to work at it more.

Understand your target

1. How desirable is the emotion/experience you intend to provide to your interaction target?

2. How consistently effective are you at eliciting the emotion/providing the experience during your interactions

3. How often does the target experience the emotion or experience that does not involve you?

The more you are associated with a desired emotion and the less frequent others are the greater chance of creating an experience people you engage with.

Understand your opportunity threshold

1. How often do you come into daily contact with your intended subject?

2. Determine the optimum frequency for contact considering that overexposure is often killer since what is routine often turns boring.

3. Adjust opportunities accordingly depending on what your goal is and how intense the experience you intend to create is.

Commit to action

1. Be the ideal you in every interaction that matters

2. Think about the image you want to project than be it

3. Fake it til you make it or until you get too worn out to care ; )

Creating an experience takes intense focused effort for most people. Very few people are so socially naturally charming that they can create an experience without working at it and making an effort to positively influence others.

Posted in Charm Edu, Deep Thoughts | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Men are getting blindsided by divorce

I switched jobs not that long ago and was SHOCKED, SHOCKED JERRY (for my old school Seinfeld people) about the men in my department close to my age bracket that were all going through a recent divorce. It is safe to say that the institution of marriage has never been in worse shape in America since 1776. Stable marriage in America and many other countries is in decline and it is primarily women pursuing the divorces. These divorces are not your stereotypical reasons for divorce of years gone by such as infidelity or physical abuse. The root causes of these divorces are much more insidious. Entitlement, boredom and I’m not haaaaappy for a minute oh my. If a society rewards bad behavior with a financial windfall what else is to be expected?

So what separates me as a relatively happily divorced man vs. most of my colleagues? I was not totally blindsided by my divorce. I saw a few signs that my marriage was not stable and started to make contingency plans to minimize my damage if (when) things unraveled. I was under no illusions that I was living in a 50s marital fantasy land where women stick it out through the rough points and honor their vows made before God. I wish we were still living in that day and age but it has past us by forever and men need to wise up and realize that divorce is possible anytime.

What mistakes did the new colleagues (3 recent divorces in the department) of mine make when they were presented with divorce? They were blindsided by the divorce papers and reacted without taking time to consider their positions. They reacted too quickly and rushed to finalize the deal giving away the farm in the process. They lost the house. They agreed to pay for way more alimony than their deal breaking ex was entitled under state law. They agreed to way more child support than was required especially since they were splitting time with the children nearly 50-50.

Don’t rush into agreeing to any paperwork under emotional duress after getting served divorce papers

Don’t use a “mutual” lawyer chosen by your soon to be ex who will “represent” you both. This is how men get screwed over. Determine what your rights are and protect them with representation as needed.

Don’t agree to alimony without determining what your worst case court imposed “sentence” would be. In many divorces nowadays alimony is no longer just and should be resisted with every fiber of your being. Marriage is a contract and the person ending the contract (cases of infidelity or significant physical abuse notwithstanding) should not benefit from their dishonesty.

Don’t feel you need to be Mr. Nice Guy and agree to whatever terms her greedy lawyers have drawn up. Frivolous divorces are evil and should not be rewarded. Don’t let her lies flip the script and make you the bad guy.

Can’t afford a decent lawyer, try to get a wise trusted relative in your corner. Don’t have any of that contact me and I will offer you some free advice from a guy that has been there.

Men wake up and don’t treat your soon to be ex like the woman you thought or wished she was. Treat her like the viper who is trying to ruin you financially (unless she is reasonable and comes at you with fair terms).

Read my previous post on divorce mistakes men make so you won’t get blindsided and become alimony roadkill on the divorce superhighway.

Posted in Divorce | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Dreaming vs. Doing

Have you ever noticed how the people who are most often talking about their dreams and where they want to be in the future spend most of their time dreaming? They make grand plans and big lists. Spend a ton of time on the visualization almost as if they can achieve it just because they want it. Caught up in the visualization part they stall and never develop a useful plan to guide them to their desired state. All of the time is spent in the dream but no real activity is taken to achieve it.

The successful people I know are doing something different. Sure they have goals but they don’t get caught up in a dream. They make strategic plans (formal or informal) and most importantly take action. They get started and work hard with focused effort to get what they want.

Doing something vs. dreaming something.

Posted in Life Coach | Tagged | 2 Comments

Biggest divorce mistakes men make and how to avoid them

Common wisdom says that divorce is no picnic for either party and that both sides suffer  throughout the process. If that were the case we should reasonably expect divorce filing statistics to be relatively split across the genders but the data does not support that assertion. Instead up to 80% of divorces are filed by women and the true percentage of women initiated divorces are even higher than that grim statistic because in a certain percentage of the other cases the man is backed into a corner and forced to file.

I am not going channel my inner Sun Tzu and claim that divorce is war and that you must destroy your ex. At the same time you need to be realistic and recognize that your ex is not the person you thought you married and pledged to love til death do you part. Your obligation to her has already ended and it is your job to have a strong head and secure the best deal you can for yourself through the divorce process (and your children if you have any) .

What makes me an expert in the field of divorce? I won’t claim to be and  I am not a legal professional. I only know what I have experienced from my own divorce and from the cases from relatives and friends that I have witnessed as an outside observer looking in. Experience (direct or through observations) is often the best teacher and if that is the case consider me your divorce Socrates. I am not trying to peddle products or make a buck from down on their luck divorced men or any other such scams. Consider me a friend in your corner from a man who has been through a frivolous divorce and recognizes the stresses that come from such a situation. Men today are facing an a raw deal when it comes to marriage and divorce and anything I can do to help a brother out is my moral obligation.

* Note my reference group here is men being divorced for frivolous reasons. If you did some f’d up shit during your marriage some of this may still help you but your not my target audience.

One of the resources I first stumbled into while researching divorce online was The List. Thankfully for me my ex was just tired of marriage and looking for an out vs. being out for blood so most of this content did not apply to me. It is still a good idea to understand worst case scenarios and to protect yourself against these cases in case you are dealing with a crazy vindictive ex. Learn the worst case scenario and prepare yourself for the worst vs. being surprised that bad things can happen during a divorce.

Actions to take during initial stages of divorce:

1. Read The List and determine which of these actions you may need to prepare for. Most pertinent:

  •  Never ever ever leave the family residence. If she changes the locks call the police and get back in but don’t leave unless the cops make you.
  •  Begin your financial separation. That means begin to freeze joint credit accounts and secure 50% of any shared savings so she can not wipe you out financially. Notice I did not say plunder the joint accounts like Genghis Khan you want to do what a reasonable person would do and your entitled to half and it will be looked upon badly if you overstep those bounds in dramatic fashion.
  • Get any guns you may have out of the house and secure them at a trusted friend/relatives house.
  •  Do not drink around her especially if you can not control your drinking. There is just too much liability for things to go wrong even if nothing really happened.
  • Continue to spend normal/above normal parenting time with your children (if applicable to you). Keep a journal of all of your parenting time and also any events that should be noted if you need them later (reference The List). Do not use the kids as a weapon, I know easier said then done especially when you are not the aggressor there.
  • I am not a big fan of keystroke logging the family computer since obtaining evidence of wrongdoing with not usually aid your court case (if only things were that fair). The main reason I am against it is because I think it keeps you emotionally invested when you need to be letting go vs. trying to get even (its not out of some mangina sense that it is the ethically wrong thing to do by the way).
  • Do not discuss the situation or your developing strategy with joint friends and associates. Any allies you choose to entrust in your circle need to be 100% on your side with 0 loyalty questions. Baring that keep to yourself or find a good personal divorce mentor who will keep everything confidential.
  •  Learn the family/divorce laws of your state most of these can be easily be researched online. Learn things such as divorce waiting periods, required parenting classes for divorces, maximum alimony liabilities, and other general information about the divorce process in your state.

2. Acknowledge your soon to be ex is no longer the person that you married and thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. She does not have to be the enemy (unless she chooses that path) but she is not your confidant and not in your corner. Distance yourself from her emotionally now and do not seek to win her back through being a better beta that won’t work and will only infuriate her more. You could try to alpha up you married man sex life but that too is a long shot if you are this far down the process. Either way have self respect and recognize anyone who doesn’t want to be with you and honor their commitment is not worth your efforts.

3. Ballpark how much lawyer you are going to need. Lawyers are famous for eating up all of the assets on both sides so based on the divorce situation determine if you can work things out on the cheap or have to really lawyer up.

4. Begin to brainstorm how you can allocate assets between yourselves to minimize lawyer involvement. What does she want vs. what you want and do not get too emotionally caught up in certain assets like keeping the house. Value any assets to be distributed between you by their economic value alone.

5. Do not do anything to provoke your soon to be ex. Even if she is the one initiating a frivolous divorce you’d be wise to avoid bringing another women around or other things that might openly antagonize her. I am saying this out of pragmatism for your end results vs. any concern for her well being. Do not apply logic to an emotional situation and expect that it will rule the day and that what you are doing is ok. Think long term and getting free at the least possible cost vs. thinking about short term pleasure or emotional revenge.

6. Do not have sex with her anymore (or if you just can’t listen use maximum protection) What you might be viewing as make up sex she might be viewing as 18 yrs more child support or worse yet cover for transgressions with someone else. Protect yourself by avoiding sex with her or handling all your own protection (and flush that used condum like a highschool athlete soon to go pro plumbing me dammed)

This is getting a tad long in the pixels so I will write a follow-up for divorce mid/end game strategy to help break it up in more manageable chunks. Stay strong man.

Posted in Divorce | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Unfaithful Stories of Betrayal evidence supporting the gospel of The Chateau

Semi watching tv I notice some show called Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal. I decide to leave it on while I work so I can see hypergamy in action. I take note and compare what I hear to stuff read at the Chateau and other game related sites.

Quick Story: Total slut cheats on her marine husband that is deployed in Iraq. Chick cheats on him with a guy she met at the club. Said slut gets pregnant by the other alpha man and the husband leaves her. She moves in with the alpha but she decides she wants to stay in the areas and does not go with him. Husband goes back to Iraq but wants her back.

Observations backing up what I have read from the gospel of Roissy:

1. Woman decides she “deserves” fun while her husband is dodging hot lead in Iraq. She fails to dodge hot lead at home and happily gets seduced by an alpha. She gets pregnant and its the alphas. Commitment doesn’t mean much when a woman like this one “deserves” something its all about her. Alpha reals her in by getting her to pretend to be his girlfriend to get rid of “unwanted female attention” Seems a pretty good strategy here social proof and getting the hamster wheel what if scenario spinning at the same time. Its only a matter of transition from pretend girlfriend to real fbuddy.

2. The term “love child” is so funny and such bull shit. The term bastard fuck child would be much more accurate but that would go against all feminist rationalization of avoiding calling immorality what it is.

3. Whore of a wife says “Our love was not strong enough to overcome the hurt that he felt” I absolutely love this statement you could have plucked this from many different Chateau articles. Don’t expected ethical behavior or deep self introspection when hypergamy renders its natural head. It’s all about her until something doesn’t work out right.

4. Husband says “that baby could have been mine but because of fate it wasn’t”. What delusional stupid beta thinking. If a wronged man can not even be straight and hold a woman accountable no wonder our culture is awaiting the impending Visigothic hoard. Is it even possible for a woman to be wrong anymore or is it always attributed to fate or bad luck?

5. Cheated husband sympathizes with the new bundle of joy and feels bad that the kid doesn’t have a father. Can I gag now?

6. Now fat but still a whore of an ex wife says “I learned marriage is a commitment for forever and I’d love to get married again”.  I’d like to think there is 0 chance she could pull off that desired feat since she is now a few more ice cream bowls away from a coronary  and a well publicized cheater but can we really rule out that she won’t? The sequel to this disaster is probably some chivalrous white knight prince charming beta saying “What happened in her past doesn’t matter to me” or “I shouldn’t judge her for anything that happened prior to her meeting me”.

Nothing discussed here will surprise anyone who reads game sites but its just more evidence that this type of thing is the new normal. Oh how I long for the old days of public shaming and harsh accountability. But at least I am not naive to the reality of the situation. The entrepreneur in me would like to start a DNA testing/PI service for deployed soldiers and make some profit by helping hold women accountable for their actions.

Posted in Mistakes Men Make, Relationships | Tagged | 3 Comments

Are you expecting success without sacrifice?

Success requires sacrifice. Trust fund babys and lottery winners notwithstanding as the rare exception you are left with this pretty simple equation. If you want to achieve exceptional things or have exceptional wealth it is going to require exceptional sacrifice. This used to be common wisdom but today I think it has become uncommon wisdom. Too many people expect to be ordained with success without any sweat equity, extremely long work hours or sleepless nights. After all the media has tried to sell us the lie that we can get what we want whenever we want because why? Well we deserve to that’s why. We are living in an age of entitlement.

What is wrong embracing the age of entitlement?

  • It makes a person easily susceptible to snake oil salesman who promise big things by preying on the naive only enriching themselves in the process. Swanky tv preachers living the jet set lifestyle result.
  • It makes the level of success desired unlikely to be achieved. If hard work towards a focused goal is not the driving force for success you are relying on luck and wishful thinking.
  • It teaches kids the observe the wrong lessons and can be destructive to their future if they buy into the idea. Why work hard for something I deserve when I should have it anyway? Spoiled kids and adults that never grow up are the end result.
  • It goes against the natural laws of the universe. An object at rest tends to stay and rest unless acted upon by an equal and opposite force. A person with a dream but no action is like expecting something to move with no force.
  • It furthers the welfare culture and perpetuates unsustainable levels of debt. People who expects regular handouts (as opposed to infrequent bouts of temporary assistance) are a burden to everyone around them and are not doing their fair share.

You can probably name a few people you know in your life that are good examples of what I am talking about. Have you ever tried to help them out by focusing their goal with a detailed plan of how to get there? If so you were likely rewarded with glazed over eyes and a deer in the headlights look or worse yet outright contempt. The contempt is generated towards you because you are making them feel uncomfortable about their fantasy world and threatening the safety of their mental padded walls. I have never seen a case where someone with titanic size dreams with no plan and an unwillingness to expend some sweat equity become successful. The glamorous lifestyle  sometimes comes after the hard earned success not before. The 4 hour work week can come after the hard earned success it is not the cause of it.

Posted in Career Development, Deep Thoughts | 1 Comment

Churches and mosques attacked

Watching a CNN Sunday morning show that casually mentions “There have been a string of church and mosque attacks in Nigeria over the last year”.

What kind of impression does that give you? Without a deep study of the facts one could conclude that Christians and Muslims just can not get along and they are bombing places of worship tit for tat. That is probably what a lot of people in the liberal media would prefer you to believe but that is far from the case.

Across the Mid East and especially Africa ancient Christian civilizations are under attack from aggressive Muslim regimes. These are not the type of peace loving gentle Muslims created by the medias imagination. Those type of Muslims are a figment of wishful thinking and a politically correct media that refuses to call a spade a spade.

Muslims are waging holy war on the Christians in Africa and the middle east and we do not get the truth. Instead we get irritating statements like the title of this post that imply the violence is equal and caused by both sides. Make no mistake about it the Muslims are the aggressors and 9 times out of 10 when a mosque goes up in smoke some rival Muslim sect is to blame for its demise.  The worst offending countries are Nigeria, Egypt, Bangladesh, Sudan, Syria, and nearly ever other nation in Africa.

Wake up world.

If you have some passion about this issue check out Voice of Martyrs

Posted in Religion | Tagged | Leave a comment

10 Warning Signs your dealing with a woman of bad character

Tips to avoid an Evil Woman

10. She lost her virginity to half the high school football team at age 14

I do not really need to elaborate on this point do I? If it was the soccer team that is even worse she should be shipped immediately to some far flung location in Europe never to be heard from again. Oh and don’t be that schmuck that thinks this recommendation does not count if she was 16.

9. She has many friends with bad character

Think about your own relationships don’t you tend to make friends with similar values that you have? If a woman your interested in has friends with bad character that means one of two things. She either has bad judgement or is excessively loyal to the wrong type of people for the wrong reasons. Either case is bad news.

8. She watches more than 2 reality shows on a regular basis

Reality shows rot the brain and are the pixie sticks of mental decay. If she watches more than 2 of these her soul is rotten and you have little hope of normalcy. If she watches the Kardashian’s or Housewives of anything round down to 1 and run. If it’s Jersey Slore your probably gonna score but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

7. She does not accept responsibility for her actions/decisions

Taking responsibility for our own actions is a big part of the transformation from child to adult. If you are dealing with a woman that fails to take responsibility and always blames her problems on others you are dealing with a woman who will soon be blaming you for her problems. In fact she probably already is to some one.

6. She has a world owes her a fairy tale life mindset

Major red flag here because it shows she has bought into the cultural lies and will be a self focused spoiled little princess. She is going to be annoying to deal with and ultra high maintenance. Make her sign a prenup if you are foolish enough to want to marry her and see what kind of reaction you get.

5. She loves to gossip and talk bad about other people

Insecure self loathing people try to make others feel smaller through gossip and character attacks. If you notice your woman engages in this behavior around her friends she is the type that is going to do this to you at some point. Gossip is for people that are not doing important things and have nothing important to offer why would you want someone like that?

4. She has a tendency to lie

Trust is paramount for a good relationship. Without it you will be on edge and wondering if you are being played. Don’t deal with someone that lies or make excuses for that behavior even if it seems to be a harmless little lie. Compulsive lying will quickly morph to blaming someone else and not accepting responsibility so you are getting an intoxicating Long Island ice tea like cocktail of warning signs when that happens.

3. She does not have strong ties to her own family

A woman who is not close to her own family will never be close to yours. Either she comes from a bad family that she has wisely separated from or she’s just a bitch and hard to get along with. If she is just estranged with her father that is even worse because you will soon experience her man hating venom in its full glory.

2. She has cheated during previous exclusive relationships.

I never understood how anyone lets themselves get seriously involved with cheaters. Extreme naivety or arrogance is the only reason I can see people think it will not happen to them. If a person has already established they are a cheater you have no one to blame but yourself when they perfect the art on you

1. She is divorced and the one that filed the paperwork. After discussing the reason for divorce you learn there was no valid reason such as affairs or abuse instead you will hear random BS such as…

  • I needed to find myself
  • I was bored
  • I wasn’t happy

Run for the hills my son and run 3X as fast if she had kids and the reasons above were listed. You are dealing with an entitled self focused spoiled wanna be princess.

Avoid the type of women highlighted above or expect to have unsympathetic friends that no longer want to grab a beer with you since your such a depressing miserable lout.

Posted in Lessons for my heir, Relationships | Tagged , | 7 Comments